Friday was my birthday, and because I have to work Sat. morning LBF and her girlfriend took me out yesterday ... and actually spent a crapload of money, too. I mean, enough that, if I were not as completely dead broke as I am, I honestly would have put some cash in. But I am that broke, so I didn't. Anyway, they also bought me several cool gifts ... it was a happy b-day for me today (or rather last night) and in large part I owe it to the continuing affection my LBF has for me ... it's kinda weird honestly, because I've been a selfish recluse long enough now to wonder at those who still seem to think I'm so incredibly neat.

One of those, the other friend who showed up at this little celebration (and actually bought me two giant, way strong shots) is a girl I don't think I've mentioned here ... or, if I have, I don't have a way of referring to her handy. Let me think about that one for a sec.

I met this girl the very week CG had broken up with me, only a couple of days after, actually. Our relationship has been kind of a strange one, marked by what seems to be equal degrees attraction, distrust, and hostility on both our parts. And yet I call her a friend? Indeed I do. I'm thinking I'll call her Pain In The Ass, because it actually fits rather well.

In fact, I have a story from last night to illustrate why PITA fits her well enough. I'd been hanging with LBF and her girl for a little over and hour, having a good time, when PITA shows up. Fairly quickly into the conversation, she's saying something about not ever really having known any lesbians. Okay, cool enough I suppose ... I don't know that it's really the first thing you need to tell people when you meet them, but I've actually liked her graceless frankness the whole time I've known her.

Oh, I'd forgotten how we got to this topic, but now I remember: I sprung the news on LBF about GBF's wife being pregnant. LBF being the astute person that she is says the wife must be really happy, and asks if GBF is. I hedge on that the way he hedges on it. This leads into a discussion of whether they wanted to/were trying to have a kid, because GBF sez he was surprised, and the reigning opinion seems to be that if you're not using condoms you can't be very surprised.

Well, PITA says that's fair enough, but she hates condoms herself, so she can see how it can be kind of an "oops" thing. I'd agreed with her about condoms kind of being a pain, or necessary evil if you would, while apparently LBF's girlfriend is sorta conferencing her on the other side of the table. Turns out she's actually never been with a guy, which LBF points out kind of gives her no reference for the whole condom thing. Well PITA explains that condoms suck for the whole not-feeling-like-skin aspect, and proceeds to ask LBF, as she has been with guys, whether she can agree that the feeling is nowhere near as good...

Honestly, I can't help but laugh out loud at it now. I honestly doubt that my retelling can repaint the awkwardness of the moment for you at all. First of all, I don't think that it's the best etiquette to ask a lesbian if she prefers penises without condoms to penises with, particularly not when you've just met her. Asking her to illustrate the point that she should agree with you even if her completely-avoided-penises-her-whole-life girlfriend can't just complicates the matter further.

To make matters worse, when LBF hesitated to answer question, I almost answered for her. And thus I think we can all agree that PITA is appropriately named. At least two of us at the table were uncomfortably reminded of the last penis LBF would have to call to mind to answer the question, and it is my sincere hope that everyone else present missed that part.

Anyway, besides that little speedbump, and PITA's subsequently asking me if she was making a bad impression on my firends (I kinda thought she was, but assured her she wasn't ... how could it help to say otherwise?) it was a pretty cool night. Turns out LBF and her girl had kept today free to hang with me too, which just goes further to illustrate what a fantastic friend she is. Unfortunately, I spent all day in and out of bed with a hangover, so I didn't actually get to hang with her today.

Anyhow, that's my celebration. I did get to speak with my mom briefly, but as it turns out she was in another state besides the home one because she was visiting her sister, who's youngest boy had recently died ... yeah, that's a cheery coincidence. Though, not to be too morbid, I suppose I could consider that however screwed up I may be making my life at this juncture, I can really only be happy and thankful that I still have a life to screw up...