As it happens, I'm from a fairly religious family -- not a strict or harshly religious family mind you, just definite Believers. Excepting myself of course starting at around at 13 or so -- the first time I'd really thought about it myself, really.

I didn't stay an atheist very long, but I did spend most of my teens and my early twenties as an agnostic. Well, somewhere in that agnostic phase I also picked up Taoism as more a philosophy than faith -- just made sense to me, pretty much.

Anyhow, I mention all this because from my family and from all the various truly religious people that I've known -- I've actually had lots of friends who were big into one church or another, just because I've always been interested in faith -- but one thing I was never able quite to get my mind around, about Christianity, was that whole broken/repentent thing.

I mean, for one, I didn't really see why it should be required that someone is crawling before you'll accept them, anyway. And also, I actually kinda felt that it was -- um, not so kind? -- to truly require that.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I mean the stuff about ... well, pretty much that you must be broken and unprideful and repentent and pretty much in a permanent state of genuflecting, before God can enter your heart. Just for me, that was always an aspect of this particular faith that just seemed kind of puzzling to me.

And of course, from my atheistic or harsher agnostic times, I'm fully aware of the derision reserved for those who claim a "faith" simply because they could not bear existence if this was really all there is. You know, the "Life sucks so bad, that we've made up a nice fairy-tale to make it seem like things are okay" argument.

And here's the strange thing I've thought of. I think really, both are talking about the same thing -- just looking at it from different perspectives.

You know how there's all the people who will themselves say that they are "plane-crash believers"? That is, they don't particularly or necessarily believe in God in their everyday lives, but they sure as hell would pray if they were on a plane headed for the ground a helluva lot faster than it was meant to. What I'm thinking is -- possibly sad as that is, perhaps that really is the essential nugget of believe in a higher power, or not.

Like basically: However miserable and sucky your life might be, so long as you insist on what you can understand/imagine/accomplish yourself, obviously there's no need or indeed even any room for a "God". Honestly, when I was around 21 or so, one of my favorite conversations was about how, if the Christians were right, Hubris would most certainly be the nail in the coffin on my going to hell. In case y'all don't know, God don't like hubris.

So really, it's only when you honestly really are completely giving up on anything you have, can conceive of, have access to -- giving up on your own understanding/imagination/abilities and resources so completely, and essentially all of your reserves have truly and finally been tapped -- well, where else ya gonna go then, but to the fairy tale in the sky?

Somebody has to save you, right?

Anyway, I just think that's odd -- they really are saying so right there. So long as you believe in The World, you can't believe in God. Because the two just don't go together.