As I believe I've mentioned before, I've tended to have lots of female friends. I was just recently recalling something from when I was in high school -- from members of a particular group of girls I spent a lot of time with ... we were often enough leaving/giving notes to one another back then (I don't know ... in high school you always have a pen?), and I recall having many times gotten a note that contained at the end "LYLAS".

And of course, I had no idea what that meant. I don't really know if it's a commonly known thing, or if perhaps I'm just not very swift (quite likely). Butn in any event, it's an acronym: Love You Like A Sister.

You see, it's funny ... when I was a pre-pubescent child, I recall having been mistaken for a girl a few times, even asked if I was a boy or a girl a times. Which I always thought was silly, because I had short hair and dressed like a boy -- I guess somehow I overall came off as Possible Tom Boy -- but of course, in adolescence my voice got really rather deep and I grew all kinds of manly muscles, so I pretty much didn't get mistaken for a girl anymore.

But LYLAS. Like A Sister. "... but I'm a boy, goddammit!"

Right. So these days, there's this term "metrosexual". I first read about this online, before I'd ever heard it used. And my first thought was, "Oh, goddamit. I am not going to be called a goddam metrosexual."

And I'm not. No hairdresser, not fashion obsessed, no hipster job, definitely more practical than "stylish" ... I mean, from what I've heard "metrosexuals" described as -- in short, men so "hip", self-absorbed, and pretty that they seem gay, but they're straight -- doesn't fit me at all. Because by "seem gay" we mean "display more stereotypically feminine traits than most women". And I don't. I am attractive and thoughtful and somewhat softspoken -- but I'm not a goddam caricature.

Because, yeah -- even in my adult life, I have had a lot of people think I might be gay. Foremost amongst those would be gay men, "out" or not. Believe me ladies, some guys do really know what it's like to be the target of an highly agressive male libido. Second would actually be all the lesbians I've hung out with -- I suppose I've been sort of the male version of a "fag hag", though I don't think there's a term for that. So I think that a lot of them have thought that from A) my being so comfortable hanging out with them, and B) my seeming more stereotypically feminine than them ... and in all fairness, sometimes that has been true.

But my sexuality has also been occasionally called into question by straight people -- even a few times, a straight woman I was flirting with! (Does that seem odd to anyone but me? Or perhaps, I'm just really bad at flirting...)

But -- yeah, I knew as soon as I read it, somebody was going to call me a "metrosexual". And I was pissed already. And yeah, sure enough, I have had people try and call me that.

So I don't know -- I am a man who grew up in a very female household ... however, behavior-wise, I've never exhibited anything but heterosexual tendencies. I say behavior because I don't suspect that other people can actually know what I feel unless I tell them. Which, as far as that goes, has always been that I'm heterosexual, as well.

But I suppose this is amongst the reasons that I've long had a good understanding of something that many people, gay and straight, don't really seem to have a grasp on: "Gender" is actually a distinctly different trait from "Sexual Orientation".

You see, gender is a socially-defined set of behavior traits. You may be born with a particular body, but society will decide if you're a "Man" or a "Woman".

While sexual orientation is internal, and completely independent of social behavior or norms -- you don't have that act or call yourself a particular orienation, you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. And really, I don't think very many of us can control that.

So I don't know, it's quite funny. One of my friends in college once told me that I was the kind of guy a pair or group of girls would see often, and discuss A) how hot I was and B) the possibility that it might just be a waste because maybe I'm gay.

Eh. You know, in the end it's really more a puzzlement than irritation. Well, maybe irritation resulting from lifelong puzzlement. Because you know, if I'm interacting with a girl that I think is cute -- I really don't so much wonder about whether she's gay or straight. Mostly, I'm just kind of concerned with whether she wants me.

I know. There I go being all self-absorbed again.