Hey, a shout out and much love to all the d-landers out there still keepin it real. I know this is gonna seem real sad, but mostly I've been vegging out and dutifully devoting myself to PS2 games and nominal survival tasks in recent times -- it's been nice to not have to socially babysit people, tho I can kind of tell not anyone seems to happy about it at this point. Eh, fuck em. Y'know really, my life has been in such a state of flux and "crisis" for so long that it is indeed old news... either I am just some fantastic drama queen, or I really need to get my shit together. I'm thinkin it's the latter, maybe...Because something funny I've realized -- for most of my life, when things were in major upheaval, I was stressed out and worried and such, and stayed tense and focused until the crisis ceased. And tho not much fun, I suppose that's an acceptible enough response when your total crisis time accounts for maybe 10% of the whole. But if your crisis time is more like 70-80%, you'll have a heart attack before you ever hit thirty going that route. And as I am about to turn 31, obviously I must have found some kind of way to cope. Comic books, video games, and porn can do wonders for some would-be troubled minds. Lots and lots of porn.
So it may look like nothing's getting done -- but then, somehow, things do seem to get done without my ever getting evicted or failing classes or going bankrupt or any of that fun stuff ... somehow, hanging out and being mellow in times of crisis is apparently just as effective as being focused and driven. Who'da thunk it? I think really it's all a matter of priority -- I realize it takes me forever to do most things not because I'm really putting that thing off -- but rather, simply that there are other things that I would do first, had I my druthers, before that thing.
So yeah -- looks like, for now, that things just may well be going along with my Diabolical Plan ... which reminds me of something. I saw that recently this cool chick actually was able to have the little "tm" thing appear in her diary. You know -- as in Diabolical Plan(tm), instead of having it in parentheses it's, um ... yeah, at this point you'll either know what I'm getting at or not, so I'll just quit explaining. And simply show my emotionally mature emotional response: I want. Don't know why. Just thought it was really cool. And I want what is really cool.
But then, people in hell want ice water, right?
Heh. I know, I know. But really, one of my favorite sayings.
Oh, speaking of diaries I've browsed recently -- the lady herself Becky has apparently amongst her many other talents an intuitive artistic psychic sorta precognitive ... um, astral something or other ... right, anyway she wrote an entry about me, almost certainly without realizing she was doing so.
Kinda creepy, huh?
Take care, cats and kittens.
