I honestly just don't get the whole "finger-fucking" thing.

By this, I mean: Every time I've heard a guy bragging about slipping some girl the finger (yes ladies, in our day and age some guys still cannot wait to brag -- sorry to shatter any illusions), I've always thought, "Yeah, and? So what?"

By the same token, though I've little doubt that any woman who is not fanatically repressed should be able to do wonders for herself with her own fingers, I honestly don't get why she would be any too ecstatic about having a guy diddling her with his fingers.

Okay, let me clarify: I do get the point that it's exciting to have someone touching your naughty parts, or conversely it may also be quite exciting to touch someone else's naughty parts. And lest I give the wrong impression, yes I have done my own share of finger-diddling in the past ... much the way I have had at least the beginnings or makings of a hand job from a woman on a few occasions myself.

Yet I suppose that's the point for me. Absolutely, if some libidinous hottie feels it's a good idea to grab the ol trouser snake and give it a few strokes, I will more than likely agree that this is a Good Thing. But for my money -- that's foreplay. Yes? It's just a start.

The thing that rather baffles me is when the fingerbang somehow gets passed off as the main event. And both people are pleased as punch about it. Huh?

Let me also point out, I am fully aware that fingers (and, of course, tongues) can do all sorts of things in this area that most penises simply could not. Having a member that is prehensile would undoubtedly be a plus on occasion, yet most of us simply are not built that way. So I do understand where fingers can come in quite handy here.

(If that counts as a pun, I won't acknowlege it.)

Nonetheless -- and perhaps this really does take several points off my overall lovemaking rating -- I just lack the ability to see handjobs as anything other than trimmings for the main course. I mean, obviously what other people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms/kitchens/cars/broomclosets is all cool and froody with me. I suppose this is why I've never bothered to make this argument to anyone in conversation. But for myself, and my own practices? Whereas I can really get into oral sex ... once again, I really just don't see what's so amazing about the plain ol fingerbang.

But hey -- I'm an open-minded guy, and I suppose this is something I might still possibly learn. Should the right girl who just loves to be fingerbanged come along, I guess.