Me, it is 11 pm, I am buzzed, and I do need to be at work in the morning. So we're aiming for short and sweet here. Some bulletines? Why not?

I've been agreeing to go to a wedding this Sunday, even asked off work (at one job) for it, for a couple of the people I was hating one way back in my original entries. When I said, "my friends are not my friends"? Yeah, these are the fucks I was talking about. Now they head out to wedded bliss. I am so not going to be there. I feel bad agreeing to it when I know I won't go, but I'd feel worse being there when NOBODY, including me, wants me to be there.

Last week I had a very "up" moment when I got one of the crazy guys I work with to do something hard, out of character ... I had a very "down" moment this week when another one lied to me for no reason that I can see, when I was only trying to help. They're piling on the responsibilities there faster than I'm happy with. Clearly, more to come.

Sunday I met a girl, thru a friend, who totally wiped out any illusions that I had of sexlessness for myself. It is not that I think anything will happen with us, in fact it's almost sure not to, seeing as how she's leaving for a trip thru Europe on Saturday, and after ten minutes of talking she was trying to fix me up with a friend of hers, who of course according to her is fantastically beautiful.

Eh, all of that is irrelevant. The point is, when I met her I had to deliberately position myself facing away from her, because I couldn't be sure I wouldn't stare otherwise. And, by the end of the night, I knew there was no chance I wouldn't jump into bed with this girl if she suggested it.

So, for all of my problems with the female sex in general, and my inability to deal effectively with in a romantic sense in particular (is that one issue? dunno.) I realize that my saying I'm just done is some self-serving bs.

If it helps any, she actually looked like a much more attractive version that the ex I was most absolutely head over heals for. Right, that isn't the part I meant might be helpful. The thing is, I was totally looking for her to remind me of that ex, thus making it easier to actually look at her without staring.

Didn't work that way, tho. She actually seemed like this very fun, open-minded, light-hearted, kind person. Well, fuck. How can you hate on somebody who seems cool?

Eh, as far as all that she said that in ten minutes she thought I was perfect for some very good friend of hers, and our mutual friend who I saw again tonight says she will correct the mistake I made of not making sure I had this life-mate-in-waiting's number. Which of course was not a mistake, but my letting that little detail slide because I really don't have time for the romance.

Oh yeah: With everything non-essential in collections, I have one bank where (HOPEFULLY, even!) my rent check would have taken the account into negative, and another that will only help until the next check. Variations on this are that the account is negative anyway, but the rent still isn't paid. Basically, variations deal with me telling my landlord to cool it.

So money's not looking good. They want the cash back from the one class I left unfinished back in winter semester, so even tho I have my internship set up (YAY ME!) to start training the day after the above-mentioned wedding it turns out, the fact is that I've been lax in fighting thru my school's internship department to make it official, because I don't think I can actually register for a new class until the old one is paid off.

Long and short? Workin for the man every night and day.