Okay, not so much. But it sounded good.

Anyhow. More work. Turns out my bitching about my new job ain't just me whining -- some of our new hires quit already, now there's more newbies. One good side effect of which is that I look like a pro compared to some -- I thought it funny when people asked me if this other guy was new. Why yes, he is new at this -- cut him some slack.

And, one of the new security people is a chick. A cute chick. A cute chick who seemed irritated when I asked, "You're security?" with perhaps a bit too much surprise. Well. Perhaps we male security types look good in our suit-jackets and such. Well, she was looking pretty good herself, and thus the surprise, honestly -- she could work a lot less hard being a hostess or somethin. But whateva. I'm pissing people off left and right these days, apparently.

This past Thursday, hanging out with C. and some dude I've met through her a couple of times, I'm basically bullshitting and being my normal oddly-inquisitive self, and at some point the guy tells me I'm irritating. Yeah, no kidding. Funny, 'cause I was just thinking the same thing about him, only I'm too polite to say so. Well, in words that direct. I did pretty much turn it around and say "no, you're the asshole..." because really my only other option would have been to try and get him to fight, which I'd fail at unless I just dragged him outside by his collar and started hitting him.

So ... yeah, actually not only do I not anger easily, but even when I do it doesn't tend to last very long. Being angry isn't really a whole lot of fun is it, from a purely objective viewpoint? I'd rather be apathetic than angry. Much less stress, effort, worry -- all that sort.

Anyway, just in consideration of Human Nature. Being a young idealist/intellectual kinda kid, I used to always get quite irritated when someone's philosophy tended to boil human motivation down to desire for sex. Granted, I'll say that this is a far more noble motivation than those who say we only want money -- but still, hardly very lofty, right? I mean, look at all we're capable of, all we can imagine and create -- how could you claim that beyond all of that, fulfillment and happiness for any of our species comes in nothing else but basic sexual gratification?

Now this still irritates me, but nonetheless I have to consider the numbers. What is it, five billion and growing? Really, kinda seeming that collectively we're not up to much anything else.

Of course, when I say "we" there, I'm speaking in a purely philosophical and completely nonliteral sense ... while there undoubtedly is lots and lots of sex going on, "we" personally are not contributing at all.

But check it, right -- we may have some clue as to why that is the case. Given my actual druthers as far as how I'd like to spend my next chunk of actual free time, I really rather hoping to hang out with this one really cool girl who, as it happens, only dates girls. I mean, she thinks I'm really cool, too. But yeah...

Seriously, I'm starting to wonder at my instincts, here. Like, through all of the training my job put me through, there was this one girl -- nah, won't even bother describing her. 'Cepting to say, I thought everything about her style and demeanor seemed wicked cool, so of course I theorized she was probably a lesbian. Well, last night she came in with her girlfriend, who's also cute and somewhat predictably just a bit more femmy than the girl who works there. And of course, vibing with them, too.

So it it all about sex? Well y'know, popular fantasies and all aside, can't say as I've noticed it to be real common, lesbian couples finding room to include a dude in the mix. Moreover, honestly, not really attracted to the girl I want to hang out with. I do think she is very, very cool, but it's not like I ever imagine drooling over her. And I'd really be surprised if she'd give me a chance even on her worse day.

So ... either it's not about sex, or some of us are just really, really confused as far as how we're going about it.