I have no idea what the new year will bring, but here is wishing that each of us will make the best of it -- after all, I don't really believe that what chance gives us is the ultimate determinant of our happy or unhappy times, but to a larger extent we determine this by how we choose to respond to what comes to us. Okay, to be fair -- it's not like we always exactly choose how we respond. After all, if you're whacked over the head feeling the pain of it really kind of isn't a choice ... unless you want to get into weird hypnosis pain-blocking kinda stuff, and most people just don't. But still, most of what we do is up to us...

Anyhow, I totally need to go pick up my car (flat tire) before the place closes, I just had to say something about what I was just thinking. And what I was just thinking is relevant to a woman who was supposed to come and visit with me a bit tonight, only now it looks like she won't be able to. That bit, really, is neither here nor there.

What is here and maybe there to is something she said to me earlier. What she said, in short, was something along the lines that I shouldn't think that she was not aware of what I was doing to her -- that is, the game I was playing -- but should instead know that she was simply going along because she was enjoying the ride.

Now honestly, my instinct was to say that I was not playing any game. I certainly wasn't deliberately doing anything I wouldn't naturally do, just to get a response out of her. But as I thought on it, that's really kind of irrelevant. And this is the bit of insight that I wished to share.

Plenty of times in my life, I've had people reference my "game". By this we mean of course my mad dating skillz. And generally speaking, I haven't seen myself as having any game, and would pretty much inform people of this. What occurs to me now is that I wasn't being completely honest in this regard, and I'll explain why I say this.

To use an analogy close to my own experience, let's say you enlist in the military. You sign all the papers, swear in, fly down to training, line up with everyone else and even get into uniform. And then, at the point that you have some burly dude yelling at you, you decide that you're not going to respond unless he can speak to you cordially.

This decision will not mean that you're not in the military. It will simply mean that you're in deep shit in the military.

Likewise, those of us who say we're not playing any game in the dating arena are really only putting ourselves at a disadvantage in that game. Because from every flirtatios glance to every deliberate not-staring to each stolen kiss to each passionate embrace, the fact is that dating is a kind of game -- or call it a dance, call it whatever you like. The whole dating (or mating, if you prefer) thing is an essential component to human interaction. And whether you conduct yourself by closing yourself off at home and not even making eye contact to any would-be object of your affection, or you're out every day trying to hook up with absolutely no guile whatsoever ... either way, it's just your particular style of playing. You simply don't get the option not to play.

Generally speaking, we don't consider things that we have no choice about as being good things. And I dunno, I suppose maybe this one isn't good either.

But really, in consideration of all the fun you can potentially have in the dating/mating arena ... I don't suppose that it's so bad that we all have to play.

The only question is, are you playing in such a way as to get what you want?

Am I?

Eh. The car place is about to close.