She did say, at some point, "[strange], you'd get married (to her) right now if you could." Which isn't true (and I told her so) but if she's thinking such things I can see how she's a little gunshy.

So okay, we're not official -- does that mean, then, that I'm perfectly sanctioned to respond to flirtations from other women in pretty much any way I want? I mean, because -- y'know, there's this one classmate ... basically, all I've done is study with this girl, but ... well, while I can't imagine much of any kind of relationship there, there is a mutual attraction.

And then, there's work. This past weekend, I had a couple of ladies visiting from Ireland who would have had me back to their hotel -- except, you know, somehow I was thinking that seemed kinda shady. And Halloween weekend, I'd actually had an apparently pretty damned wealthy older lady who insisted I take her number. She was attractive, but yet again -- beyond thesex, I don't know what kind of interest we might have had in each other.

And of course, there is the Beer Tub Girl at work, who CG hates. Am I obligated to stay away from her -- you know, based on the potential of "officalness" or whatever?

See now, the problem is this: If I'm with you, then yeah -- I don't want anybody else. But y'know, if we can't really say yet if I'm "with" you or not -- for exactly what reason would it be, then, that I pass up these other chances that are not likely to be repeated?

I will grant, I have pretty much said in the past that sexual fidelity may be assumed for me -- basically, I'm not really interested in having multiple lovers in the same time period. So I suppose it's fair if CG trusts me to be monogamous because we're involved, even if we're not "officially" involved.

But see, that's just my point -- what is this "official" crap? Seriously, when this amourous and attractive young lady seems quite eager to go home and get naked with me, right this moment: Okay, am I in a goddamned relationship, or am I not? Regardless of the consequences, am I morally in the clear to act on my instincts, rather than my thoughts on my long term life plans, right at this particular moment?

The older lady I mentioned above? I'm not even going to get into details, but suffice to say she was a nice embodiment of a lifelong fantasy, just kinda dropped out of the blue...

Yep, I've finally realized what the heart of the whole irritating issue is for me -- though it's probably been pretty obvious to you all already. Basically, my own simple boundary for whether or not a relationship is offically a "relationship" is whether or not it's exclusive -- though I am aware of and have known people who ascribe to "open" relationship models, or who simply cheat, for myself the line is just right there -- single people can boff whoever they want. If you're "involved", you can only boff the one you're involved with.

Now, for all her cries of non-officialness and of considering me a friend, who wants to side with me in theorizing that she'd be perfectly fine with me taking that to mean that it's still only my business who (else) I happen to sleep with?