Haven't even bothered getting dressed thus far today. I was supposed to go in to work to give them my badge and key and have lunch with my boss and workgroup (cause y'know, schmoozing with the guy who's just fired you seems like it a hella good time) but somewhat predictably he called about an hour before the pre-arranged time to say he couldn't make it, "meetings" had come up. Chicken.

Really, I kinda knew he'd do that when he said, "Let me make sure I have your number, in case something comes up..." Which I suppose is a part of why I agreed to it. But in the end, I'm thinking as much as this particular work outing seemed like a big pain in the ass to me, I still would have gone. Stared him right down to the line I did, and look who was left standing.

In other news, I also don't want to go to class tonight. But I will.

Also, I'm vaguely starting to think I shouldn't leave my aircast off so much when I'm at home. The ankle is apparently healed enough that that's usually okay, but I've had a rather diffuse ache throughout that area all day -- with my luck I'll go back to the doctor and he'll say it's gotten worse since last he saw me, and I'll be on crutches for a lot longer than I've been hoping. Or worse, I will need surgery after all.

Meh. One other thing, A. called a bit ago to leave a message, attempting to explain why C. might have said the things she said. (In my very inept way of trying to ease towards breaking her heart as painlessly as possible if it comes to that, I did tell her that C. had seemed to have the impression that I was leading A. on.) So A. has called to say, "Oh, I get it now. She probably said that because I was talking about guys in general, but I wasn't talking about you..."

Oh, is that all. Well, great to know I'm such an exception.

My word, honestly I think this may explain all my fantastically prudish behavior in my younger days. It would be nice if meaningless romps in the hay could stay just that, but 9 times out of 10 if you stay in contact they will not.

The sad part is, from past experience, I would guess that the more I try to be cool and considerate about all this, the more I'll seem like The One for her, as opposed to All Those Other Jerks. My friend B., being as unrealistically practical as she always is, would say to just directly tell her how I feel.

Why is this an unrealistic course of action?

"Um... okay. I do like you quite a lot, and you are really cool and everything ... but see, I get the feeling you might be falling in love with me. And I'd told you before that that wasn't really -- oh, right. Sorry, you're not falling in love with me. But still, listen ... um, I don't know if we should ... you know, fool around anymore? Oh, why? Because ... I'm not really attracted to you?"

See, right there. OUCH. There's absolutely no way to get through that conversation without taking it there, and there's no way that doesn't sting for anybody. You've spent time with me, you've gotten to know me, you've slept with me -- but you're not actually attracted to me.