A shout out and much love to all my d-land peeps -- in the U.S. and worldwide. You know who you are. Peace out, my homies.

So ... I'm thinking, I think it's been a bit over a day since I posted anything ... well, that would be because Monday was kind of a wash as far as days goes. When you consider that late Sunday/early Monday I was actually unable to type ... wow. I must have been gone. I've written many a missive whilst under the influence, and I don't ever recall having been unable to type before.

What's more -- it was only a beer night. I mean, I didn't drink anything but beer that night. Summit Winter Ale, I think. And pitchers of it. But yeah -- I don't think I really had much idea that I was that drunk.

Okay, that's not true. I'm thinking I knew by the time I was leaving the bar -- you know, as you're heading out the door, it's usually a good idea to ponder what sort of condition you're in. And yep, I'd say at that point I was surprised how wasted I was.

Let it be a warning, kids: don't sit and drink for too long. At some point you will assume walking is still easy, and you will be wrong.

So yeah, yesterday was spent recovering. Really didn't do much besides sleep. And yeah, I mean the whole day.

Really, probably one of my more distinguishing traits, unlike most people I don't seem to have the ability to "sleep too much". I mean, by and large -- if I wanted to, I'm pretty sure I could easily sleep -- probably 20-22 hours of every day. You know, just getting up long enough to shower and such, to actually be upright for just a little bit.

But yeah -- given opportunity and motivation in the past, I've slept as long as 3-4 days straight. It's something that has struck friends as rather odd, because obviously in order to do this you would need to turn off the ringer on your telephone.

In our modern world, turning off your phone's ringer is the equivilant of hiding in a cave. Until you decide to come out, you may as well have disappeared off the earth.

You know, I actually kind of do that a lot. I'm really someone who needs a lot of time alone. And honestly, what I think is the real reason for that?

I'm completely in love with myself. And I'm not even kidding.

Really, that's why I tend to be so fantastically baffled and astounded even, whenever other people do not fall madly in love with me. My god, I could certainly never resist myself.

And you know, I don't really think that's such a bad attitude. I mean, think about it -- why shouldn't any single person with a brain in their head not want you?

Don't get me wrong, I actually am highly critical of myself ... what's more, I am perfectly aware of all the societal knocks that might not be in my favor -- you know, rich always helps in our world, nice cars, clothes, houses and such. And I'm certainly not rolling in it, nor have I come anywhere near conquering the world yet.

But I guess that's just it -- I have my own standards, and while they are high, they are not blind to circumstance. Which is to say, while I can certainly recognize room for improvement in my self and my life, I do not devalue the essential worth.

So here's the question, I guess -- do you really think you're an amazing person? I mean, like, deep down -- just the raw potential of who you could be, if the world just wouldn't muck with you?

But the world does muck, doesn't it? Not for no reason have we come to the words "veil of tears". You know, even those peaceful, content, and humble buddhists living in temples would have to admit, in so many words, that, "Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it..."

And two points if you know the "Life of Brian" song that line is from. If you don't, I'll ruin the punchline for you -- the guy singing is hanging crucified in the desert, and he's trying to tell the guy nailed up next to him to not be so glum. He was the kind of guy who tried to make the best of every situation, or at least appreciate of it what he could.

That is, "Always look on the bright side of life..."

What I think is strange tho -- I recall long ago thinking ... I mean, like back in high school. Well, okay, pretty much everybody is miserable in high school, I guess. Except for, in my school, maybe a few heavy activities/school government/band kinds of kids. (Well, and the rich bastards. Sorry, I never bought the whole "Outsiders" thing ... yes, it sucks all over, but it sucks more if you're poor on top of everything else. The world loves the rich. But I digress...)

What I was going to say was that everybody was pretty unhappy a good chunk of the time, but in a weird way, it seemed that being completely miserable seemed to be positively correlated with intelligence. That is, it seemed like the brighter people tended to suffer more.

It could be, of course, that perhaps the brighter people were just better at expressing their misery -- like, those less able to communicate suffered as greatly, yet simply didn't know how to make it clear.

Certainly, I've never thought the world was an easy place for you if you happened to not be very bright. The world loves the rich, but eats the stupid alive.

The stupid, the less powerful, the unbeautiful, the uneducated -- no, ignorance is not bliss -- it may be also possible that the more comparatively intelligent a person is, the more capable of understanding all the misery they see and experience.

I mean, consider -- for the most part, the world does pretty much tell everybody to put on a happy face and keep on truckin, to be normal and well-adjusted and okay. I mean, for all the horror and trauma that we know has been part and parcel of human existence, do we not tend to still strive to say "Everything will be Okay"?

Or even that everything is, right now. Perhaps if you're less bright, you have an entire world of opposition and nothing but years of drudgery and little reward ahead, but the whole time you're actually able to kinda buy that things are alright the whole time, when really they're really not. Or at least to think, the whole time, that tomorrow the sun will shine, or whatever.

And things do change, that is inevitable -- tomorrow won't ever be exactly as today, just as yesterday was not the same as either. But while we all grow older and life progresses -- yeah, perhaps the brighter you are, the more clearly you actually grasp both the general and personal odds against you -- from your own sex, race, and social status to the general state of the earth's environment

Like, if you're smart enough, it doesn't really matter if the whole world is telling you that things will get better, when you can see clearly now that they're only getting worse.

So it's kind of funny, because I was thinking of all the diaries I read on d-land. Seems like Christy's having a jolly ol' time, and Aislinn's mom really seems quite effervescent -- (how do you pronounce "Aislinn", anyway?) -- besides those two, it seems most everybody else is having a rather tough time of it.

The strange thing is -- yeah, in high school my closest friends tended to be the smart and miserable kids -- because while they were miserable, they were also bright enough to be really funny.

So I dunno, I kinda like to think humor is all we have, when we don't have anything else. Even if it's really dark humor, I can still laugh (if quite bitterly) however shitty my circumstances are getting.

That's why I like the guy on the cross in the Python movie. Clearly, he knows his situation is Fucked, and most definitely likely to only get worse.

So he figures, I could go ahead and be completely miserable, added to everything else I must endure ... or I can try to make the best of the time I have. Because after all -- it's the only time I get.