Here's the thing -- say that you are in love. Madly, deeply, helplessly in love. The only question, as far as this love goes, is who is more fanatically and eternally lost in love between you and the object of your affections.

With me so far? Good.

Now -- say your one true love tells you that they could never, ever under any circumstances tell their parents that the two of you are in love. Because you're a biracial couple, and the parents are racist. Because you're a same-sex couple, and the parents are bigoted against gays. Maybe because you're different religions, and the parents truly are close-minded fundamentalists who believe anyone who does not believe as they do is pretty much evil and unclean and destined to fiery hell.

Maybe they just could never accept you because you and your love are from different countries. Whatever.

The point is this -- if whoever you are with actually does mean that they never, ever could tell their family ... because they love their family, and have absolutely no doubt that it could never be accepted, and that the most they could accomplish would be to lose their family over you ... well ... in a sense, aren't they kind of agreeing with their parents?

I'm not saying it's not a truly shitty place to be put in. And I'm not saying you can't love someone who you know to be close-minded and bigoted. Most of us probably have at least someone somewhere in our family who is like that.

My point is -- how true does this sound: "Oh, I will never stop loving you, we will be together forever ... um, except as far as anyone in my family is concerned."

Anybody else have a problem with this?

See, it kinda seems to me that if you really, truly are that much in love, and have absolutely no doubt that you will stay that way -- wouldn't it be something you'd feel like your family would have to eventually deal with, or else ... I dunno, I guess never see you again?

Like, what kind of parent hates a group of other people so much that they'll let that hate stop them from loving their child? I mean, are those parents worthy of that kind of love and obedience?

Because I guess for me, in the end, it comes to this: If the parents really would stop loving you for it, as though you are somehow a lesser person than who you were before for loving who you do, and if for this reason you never would or could tell them you love that person -- well, are you sure you love them? I mean, aren't you kind of saying they're right?

As in: "Were I to tell my parents about this person, I would no longer be worthy of their love."

And to me, that's just fucked up.