Essentially, the problem was that I wanna write whatever I want about whatever I want. Oh, and whoever, of course, too. You know, should I decide to.

So what I decided, after having met a couple of people who've read my whole diary... well, essentially that I'll go ahead and still write whatever I want, and if anybody reading feels like bitching to me about it in real life -- please don't.

That is to say -- well, you know, in my diary in general: I just figure people who aren't interested/amused won't read. And so, if those who do read have a some comments about something they thought interesting or amusing, it's always welcome. But it wouldn't be if those who weren't interested or amused at all read anyway, and occasionally piped up.

So right -- you can talk to me, but it can't be just to say that I suck. Because my inevitable and unvarying response to that is: No, you suck, times infinity.

So there.

Um... okay, so what I wanted to say was, I met these two girls, and they seemed pretty cool and interesing and everything but -- yeah, in a nutshell, they were so not into me. It's actually kind of funny, really.

I mean, anyone who's read here much knows that I talk pretty big about myself, and pretty much hold myself in such high regard as to be dang near perfect -- yeah, I know that's kinda irritating, but I honestly do tone it down around others. I'm just being honest 'cause this is my diary.

So... right, you know, if you're reading all my stories, and I'm just casually talking about how gorgeous I am, how brilliant and funny and charming I am, and how fantastically irrestible I am to all women -- well, thus far you've only heard all this from my perspective.

Having met me for themselves ... yeah, to be honest I think they were kinda disappointed. I suppose I must seem far cooler in a reader's imagination than I probably really am, because the only image of me that you get is pretty much my own. So, allow me to theorize as to what, ultimately, either of these two might say, if they had to briefly describe me (as they've promised not to describe me in any detail -- oh, I do like being mysterious): "A nice enough guy. Kinda interesting. Not really very strange, though. Attractive enough, but certainly no Adonis."

So there you have it. Mind you -- I'm not actually agreeing with them. I just wanted to describe this somewhat new and unusual experience that I had.

Oh, and again, if you're reading this and you know I'm talkin about you... thing is, how many of us really catch every single entry of every single diary we read? We don't, I would say. So for my money, I'd say just letting it seem like you never even read it would be perfectly cool. Unless, of course, you feel you absolutely must say something ... that is, if I may remind you, so long as you're not speaking up just to malign me. Really, I've a sensitive and delicate soul, and the introduction of stress and angst into my life tends to drive me to truly shitty poetry.

And I mean it -- I really am a fucking horrible poet. If I'm feeling sadistic some day, maybe I'll post some. But -- yeah, over and all I guess the point of why I wanted to tell this story: Apparently, not everybody thinks I'm really so goddamn cool.

But you know -- in retrospect, I don't think I actually have much claimed that absolutely everybody felt my vibe. I mean, off the top of my own head I seem to be able to recall several entries where some lady or another thought I was just a gigantic loser.

Hm. Y'know, that reminds of something else -- I mentioned once some chicks who got really snotty with me when I tried to suggest they play Tom Waits on the jukebox (they had like 20 songs to pick) ... anywho, I'm hanging out at that place again not long ago, and I end up talking to some girl, and she's all, "Yeah, we've met ... there was that guy you were trying to get me to play..."

Dammit. See, this is why I've got to start hanging out in new places. We met once and I thought you were evil. Tell me again why I'm having a nice conversation with you now?

Too nice for my own freakin good, I tell ya.