Feh. I've always been kinda solitary, even as a kid, and back then I had a joke ready for those who thought it was odd -- a joke, of course, that wasn't completely a joke: "I find that I'm simply better company than most of everyone else I could hang out with."

Other people can sometimes be fairly taxing, can they not? For instance, two nights this week one of my friends basically ending up yelling at me and arguing with me the whole time. According to the analysis of others, she's just trying to "get my attention" and doesn't know how else to do it. Or, "She likes you, and wants you to like her." Well unfortunately, all she really managed to do was piss me off. Honestly, if I don't see her for a few months now, it might still be too soon.

Also the other night, I found myself in one of those situations I've described here before -- where everyone at the table has slept with at least one other person there, and a few have slept with several. Only this particular night -- I don't know, I think I felt as if I was a little too much the center of attention. Like, there was some vague kind of discomfort or something, so they all kinda turned to me to keep the mood light.

And that just frickin sucks, man. Because the more I talk, the more I can notice, "Oops, just stepped on ____'s toes ... whoops, so-and-so looks a little pissed at that" and so on. Not that anyone other than my one friend ever jumped in my shit or anything, I'm must saying it's kinda hard to have a nice relaxing night of fun when somehow you become responsible for making sure everyone else is having fun.

But you know, one day I'll tell you all about my two best buds. One's a guy and one's a girl, and pretty much invariably they are cool. It's not as if we've never had our out moments, because we have -- just that I think that those are the relationships that tend to have the most genuine honesty and appreciation for each other, consistently. Like, we're actually together because we truly enjoy one another's company, as opposed to circumstance or boredom or -- I don't know, I'm not really sure how people become friends.

But anyway, I spent half of tonight counseling yet another friend, who apparently was considering suicide the other night. Yah, that's always a fun conversation. You know, it's not that I'm not sympathetic, I really am -- but sometimes you just wanna say, "Yeah, life sucks. Yours does, mine does, and most everyone else's does. So in the least, you know you're not suffering by yourself."

Only, that never really seems like it might be too helpful to a depressed person. Only slightly more so than Denis Leary's advice to those who are chronically unhappy with their lot in the world: "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet."

Fairly unsympathetic, I know ... but kinda true, right?

Ah, and I wanted to record, because this really amused me -- yes, I am a very simple minded creature. So at some point there's a big group of us hanging out and talking (hm... I almost think I may have told this story already. Or is it just that all my stories start that way?) and you know, there's that general buzz where there are several different conversations going on because we're too big a group to have just one.

Then there's one of those odd moments where suddenly no one is saying anything, and we all hear my Best Friend say, "I touched it with my finger, then licked it!"

In response to which, I burst into laughter like a 10 year old. It was funny, because everybody was looking at him like he was a freak, and at me like I was an idiot, then I prevented him from explaining what he was talking about. I declared that this method should be the one that we adopt whenever we are delving into unknown territory: First you touch it with your finger, then you lick it.

Honestly, I don't think anyone else thought it was as funny as I did. But then, I'm not called 'strange' for no reason...