Basically, there was some dude who was way, way too fucked up. And I don't mean drunk, either. I mean, I'm sure alcohol was part of it, but this guy had tried chatting with me a bit earlier, and it was clear he wasn't firing on all cylinders. Well, apparently he was grabbing girls' asses and such, and when someone complained to one of my bosses I was told to get him out of there.

S'funny, in retrospect I would have expected it to seem a little more difficult than it was. They were obviously not happy, wanted to know why they were being kicked out and who complained, blah blah blah. I talked to them, apologized to them, explained as best I could that it wasn't personal and that they weren't excluded from coming back (should they wish to. I mean, they kept saying how cool the place was, but why are they being kicked out?) and so on a so forth.

Overall, I'd say it took me about 3-5 minutes to get them out the building, no spectacle or roughness involved at all. Which really, is kind of a unique style for security guys. If we weren't so dead last night, I would not have had anywhere near the time to be so patient. Anyhow, the whole while they argue it's like, okay, let's move over this way. Okay, let's head to the steps. Okay, come with me to the front door, please. We can talk about it, there.

Only slight trouble spot? Going down the stairs he kept trying to get me to go ahead of him. Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for the old knock-me-down-the-stairs bit. C'mon, I practically wrote that one. It actually came to a point where he takes my hand and tries to physically move me ahead. At which point I stop moving altogether and gesture ahead of me -- polite tho I was, I never made it seem like he had an option to not cooperate. And I suppose that's part of why it seemed completely natural to me to get someone out of the place without worrying in the slightest: Pretty much, if you're asked to leave, you're gonna. The only question is exactly how unpleasant you want your exit to be.

So yah, he went ahead and went, well, ahead of me down the stairs, and argued more at the front door ... I think one cool thing about how I handled it is that besides touching him to get his attention, and the bit where he grabbed my hand, I never touched the guy the whole time. Also a luxury I wouldn't be allowed if we were busy. That I've seen, most experienced security guys will take your shoulder or arm once you've argued a bit too long -- a physical version of my saying, "okay, but let's keep moving."

So, yeah. I'm now a badass bouncer dude. You know, who actually is all peaceable and polite.