Hullo. As it happens, I am a bloke and I read your diary ... and as I'm avoiding homework, I thought I'd take the time to answer your question. Or at least ramble a bit on the topic without exactly answering.

I think part of the difficulty with the question is, of course, the individual thing -- sexuality is of course tailored for each of us ... I've known people who seem to ever only want nice slow easy affectionate sex, and some others who only like down and dirty, hard and fast kind of sex -- I think most people probably like varying degrees in both, but then of course two people may vary drastically on their ideas of "gentle" and "rough".

Having said all that, as far as I can understand it rape fantasies for women who actually are sane are generally more about being freed of control or responsibility than about physical roughness or degradation. Of course, there would even still be variation in that department.

So for the men's side? Honestly, and I could be wrong, but I don't really think as many (sane) men indulge in rape fantasies. I have nothing really to back that up, but I'd imagine it true because rape fantasies would have to be about loss of control for us as well -- but not loss of responsibility. I mean, for all the flexibility of the fantasizing mind, under what even porn-movie-reality remoteness could a guy imagine a rape fantasy where he's calm and rational in deciding to force someone into sex?

But again, there's that individual variation. I suppose if a guy was a pretty physically agressive type in the first place, and that was reflected in his sexuality -- maybe that guy would imagine "things just getting out of hand" as a fantasy -- and of course for those guys too, there would be variation in how much actual violence or degradation plays a part in their fantasy.