Really, one of the more bizarre aspects of my metabolism is that I don't get hungry. I mean, I think that's something that would keep most people from sleeping, say, three days straight. Not me. Somehow it seems whatever nerves or whatever it is that say, "Empty stomach. Feed me." have withered and died in my strange physiology. Hm. No wait, now that I think of it I've always been unusually likely to forget to eat. Only difference is that now my life is so incredibly unregimented that there are not the usual reminders that a normal person should be getting hungry right about now...

It was one of the strange things from when they put me on anti-depressants. Sleep problems and lack of appetite are apparently symptoms of screwy serotonin, so they were kind of confused when, even as the rest of me seems fine, I continue to point out that my eating habits are irregular. Because I just don't get hungry very much. It has been pointed out that a regular, healthy diet does make one actually feel better, much the way a regular workout schedule does. But, much as it pisses me off, I haven't had much time to work out lately either, and as I don't seem to have the biological reminders everyone else does, eating kind of ends up in that same boat. When I get the chance.

So anyhow. Related to absolutely nothing, except that I have to go to work yet again later tonight, and I suspect it will be quite boring. Really, being the sober guy among lots of boozers only has so much appeal. But, it is Sunday night, so maybe it won't be as crazy as the last few nights. A nice mellow night would be nice.

Also, I must call my mom. That's pretty unrelated to anything, except I think we all (those of us who don't live near them) should remember to call our moms on a fairly regular basis. For some strange reason, having birthed and raised me seems to have given her this lifelong interest in what I'm doing. I keep telling her, my life is pretty frickin boring and uneventful -- but hey, it's my mom. If she wants to hear me ramble and complain, who am I to deny her?

Right, which reminds me. You know, I wasn't even thinking about getting involved with anyone until I started my job. It's just slighly unfair in that respect. Here I am, perfectly cool by myself, working as hard as possible to focus on improving in whatever means possible, even enjoying myself, when -- hey, look! Come-hither eyes. Wow, what a fantastic smile. Whoa!... the body on that girl...

(Actually that reminds me of something else I thought was kinda funny. I'd wandered away from where I was posted to do some stuff, and weaving through the crowd back that way I could seem that some people were kinda in my place. Getting right up to where they were, I realized they weren't staying there, still true to my job title I gave them both a quick once over just to make sure things were cool. It was a couple, and the guy was facing me while the girl was mostly turned away from me. So, in my quick glance of her ... hey, straight guy here, and quite "figure conscious" clothing on the lady. In short, couldn't possibly not have thought, "Wow. Nice ass." I wouldn't have thought I lingered much, but I suppose the boyfriend simply assumed that I was checking her out. Because he goes nods happily and goes, "Yep. That's what I'm talking about!" And had to give me a little handshake to illustrate that we were on the same page. [Note: Pursuant to my position, it's much easier to simply shake people's hands and smile and move on, even if you've no idea what they're talking about. Just in the one case I figured it out.] He said, "That's what I'm talking about!" Like twice more, and his girlfriends looking around like, "Huh?" And it was one of those moments I was glad I had other things to do than continue chit-chatting with them.)

Um... you know, it's not the first time I've gotten that kind of a response. I don't know what the right one ought to be. But for myself, while it wouldn't particularly bother me to have guys checking my date out, I don't think I'd be congratulating them for it. Hm. Thinking on it, I guess it's kind of a, "Hey ... check out what's on my arm..." kind of a thing. You know, you're checking out who I'm with ... and I happen to be mack enough to actually be with her. So I dunno. Whatever, people are weird.

So ... anybody recall where the hairy fuck I was going with this?

Ah yes. Actually not wanting a girlfriend. Or in the least, not actively pursuing one. Strangely, many of my friends can't see the difference there, so I just default to saying I don't want one. Point is, should fate decide to stop screwing me, yes that would be nice. But considering my history on such matter, I really should be focusing on lots of other things. Simply far more productive. And more enjoyable in most cases, too, honestly.

But again -- how many exposed backs, tiny skirts, fishnet stockings, and girls feeling quite free to touch and remain quite close can a guy realistically take. I'm only human here, folks. It's kinda like -- okay, I don't know what the hell it's like, except that it sux. REALLY kinda sux, I tells ya.

Why? Because the rest of my life isn't about to change ... my plans and activities remain pretty much as they were. But, now I have plenty regular temptations thrown at me. I suppose ... hm, they require that we're friendly, so just being really mean isn't an option. Perhaps I should try and play the Gay Bouncer? You guys think there really is such a thing, and that it's very effective? I mean, if I'm gonna be obviously gay to the ladies, I'd have to be to guys as well, and mostly guys are 1)Pretty homophobic and 2) Utterly convinced that there are no tough gay guys. So it would probably make my job harder.

Hm. Maybe I'll just pin a button to my lapel that sez, "No flirting". Yes. And then -- ah, I will wear a rubber band on my wrist, and snap myself each time I catch myself looking.

Yes. This can work. It's simple stupid rampant biology that's making this complicated. But hey, I'm a psych major -- I'm gonna bet my mind/will can conquer any biological imperative.

I mean, I don't need to eat. Why should I need sex? Right?