It's not even true that no one in my list posts. It's more that I don't know what Becky's up to, because I pissed her off, and Bucket's posts, which are called Bucket's posts, are apparently locked.

Meh. Whatever happened to Kimberly (turns out it's spelled Kimberley!) in England? Just 'cuz I'm insane, you guys can't make it easy for me to keep up with what you're up to?

Well, for myself, the main bouncer at my favorite bar pulls me aside to tell me the girl I hooked up with the other night "goes home with a different guy every night". Well, geez. Way to make a guy feel loved.

"You never close your eyes anymore, when I kiss you lips ... and there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips ... you're trying hard not to show it... but baby, I know it: you've lost that loving feeling..."

I actually had an epiphany of a sorts, tonight. Thus, journalinig is justified -- y'all probably won't recognize the names, and possibly some folks I'd rather not will find this diary through the mentioning, but I must say it anyway:

I finally realized what I got out of my relationships with K. and M. (names changed to initials over a month later, becuz I'd be really displeased witht the drama) tonight. I don't know why it finally came to me ... it's not even that complicated.

They *listened* to me. They really listened. It's not even that they understood. I've been bitter for years after, in realizing that they never had much of anyting to say, no solutions, no insights...

But that's all irrelevent, really.

I'm more than passing strange. I am truly fucking weird.

And they listened. They heard me. Maybe they both fucking screwed me in the end.

But they listened. Anything and everything I gave them is worth that. They heard me. Even if they didn't get it, they listened.

So, no regrets.