But um, I'd met this girl once not long ago, and one of the first things I ended up asking her (yes, jokingly) if she'd ever considered being a porn star -- oh, actually now I remember why that came up. Though I won't bother to explain it. Anyway, it's enough of a bad habit for me, regardless -- I'd say the fascination aspect of porn for me has always been in, "Exactly who are these women?"

I know, the generalized answer to it is that they're all young non-too-bright manipulated sorta-coerced sexual abuse survivors who have no other way to support their escalating drug habit. And you know, in all fairness I'll acknowledge the great potential for veracity of this stereotype, some times. I mean, it has been said that stereotypes become stereotypes because there is some element of truth to them. But while fairness dictates the possibility of all these factors making her decision not a completely free one, doesn't sheer probability dictate that they can't all be that way? Just really consider the enormous world of porn out there -- I wouldn't even want to try and catch all of it -- and consider how many people overall that has to be. Percentage of the overall population, maybe not. But just in general numbers? Kinda a lot of people.

So anyhow, all of that to say, when I asked the one girl if she'd ever considered it, she said no, and when I asked her why she said, "Because I'm not that kind of girl."

Which I accepted as fair enough at the time. But really, that raises a very good point: Exactly what kind of girl, then, would consider doing porn? I mean, clearly being that kind of girl didn't seem a thing to be proud of, to the girl who was talking. So would it be moral or mental failings that kind of girl would be guilty of?

Now, rather than simply porn stars, consider all of the people overall who can be called sex workers -- not counting store clerks and distribution managers and that, but just actual actors, dancers, models and such. Basically, the people who are effectively selling themselves (or at least a fantasy of themselves) for the world's viewing pleasure. I mean, I myself have known several "erotic photo" models, and at least a few "exotic dancers" ... possibly you could say that I even dated one, except she hadn't danced in like four months by the time I met her. So my point is, that's a lot more people. So now, while we may get even more people who are addicts or abused or simply poor or something like that -- don't we also have to allow for increased chance of variation within this group? Which is to say, allowing for such people as the girl I dated: early 20's, ex-stripper, ex-cokehead who maintained that she'd had the time of her life and loved every minute of it, only stopped to "straighten out" because stripping is something you should get out of way before you stop being really young and pretty. She hadn't had a screw up childhood or family, no one had coerced or manipulated her ... and tho she apparently was using most of the money to support a drug habit, it was a habit she had acquired as a part of enjoying her new career field.

So -- right, the thing is I've known other dancers and such, and every one is a different person with a different background who's in a different place in their life... having said all that, being a porn star would still be at the top of the list of things most people (at least most women) really wouldn't even consider doing. For myself, I would never have done it only due to family considerations -- it would break my mom's heart, greatly disturb and disappoint my sisters -- don't have any kids of my own, but I do have neices and nephews. And yeah, supposing I did have kids one day. "Daddy was a porn star?" No, I don't think so.

But -- I know, I am a long-winded son of a gun, aren't I? -- the point of this entry was not really about porn stars, but a different kind of sex worker. Well, actually the two kind of overlap often, I imagine. Anyway, my recent wonderings have been about the phenomenon of ladies sending their worn panties through the mail to some gent for some price, presumably for his sniffing pleasure.

Okay. I'm just going to leave aside any issues about this particular fetish as a part of anyone's personal sex life. If a pair of people happen to enjoy that sort of thing in the privacy of their relationship, then god bless em. Or god bless em anyways -- as part of my point is that even if it's some guy who's paying for it, it's apparently a very common thing. I've seen ads in -- you know, your local weekly alternative rag? those sort of papers -- where some local person is just advertising, hey you'll never see me or meet me or anything, but if you want you can buy my underwear.

Is it just me, or is that kind of freaky? I mean, I really do want to know about these people, and not in any judgemental kind of way -- sheerly out of curiosity. For instance, a few years ago I read in some magazine about a new trend that was going about in a particular country. It was downtown vending machines, where your on-the-go business man could grab himself a nice pair of undies while on his lunch break. The particular kink here was that supposedly the underwear in the machine were worn (for at least 8-10 hrs) by sixteen year old virgins. I'd think that would kind of violate most every child labor law anywhere, and also greatly drive up production costs for the company. No, some women just answered an ad in a newspaper, and went into the wearing-underwear-for-profit business.

So again -- I think a key part of all my fascination with all this is, exactly why is it, do you think, that some people are A-Okay with this stuff, and some others could never possibly do it. Like the underwear-selling thing ... if you're female and reading this, would you do it? If you would do it when it's completely anonymous and neither you nor the customer ever come anywhere near knowing one another, would you still be willing to do it if there had to be pictures of you to go with the underwear? Not pornographic pictures, just pictures of what you look like. How about pictures of you in the underwear? (I think I recall reading something from one porn star [or maybe internet porn star] who was offering that she'd send you underwear that you picked out or sent to her, along with a videotape of her masturbating while wearing the underwear -- I'm guessing none who aren't already porn stars would go for this one.) Even with just pictures of you -- if you'd do that, would it change your mind if you felt there was any likelihood of meeting any of the guys who bought your underwear?

Y'see, what's fascinating to me is that most all women that I've know or will imagine will have said "no" way, way up at the beginning of that line of questions. And that's kind of weird to me -- maybe even more weird than the guys who are willing to buy them. But as most of us wear underwear each day -- if we could make extra cash by wearing a new pair each day and sending them away in a sealed baggie each night, why wouldn't we?