Ah well. Nothin' to do about it now but drink myself silly. Um. And tell my treatment group about it tomorrow night. That part will be fun.

Okay look, I got something to say and it's not my place ... so I'll say it in my own diary, so I've gotten it out of my own head without sticking my nose into others affairs uninvited.

Basically just this: Life isn't easy. Choices aren't easy. Most importantly, human interaction isn't easy. And yeah, we all make mistakes, but part of not being a fuckhead is admitting when you've done something you should not have.

The long and short of it? Other people don't exist expressly to serve our needs. Whether those be our sexual needs, our emotional needs, financial needs, or even esteem needs. They don't even exist to help us when we write horribly awkward sentences.

In my mind, we enter into some degree of a contract when we interact with someone. Yes, even for something as simple as a conversation. The contract, you see, is meant to consider what both people want, and the implied deal is that both will get enough of what they want to make the interaction worthwhile.

Say, for instance, that I've decided that I love what you do, but you know that you're toxic ... and I spend to much time hearing crappy music at work ... no seriously, it's like my ex who happens to be married. Will I say "no" to her? Very rarely. Should she stay the fuck away from me because she's screwing both her husband and me every time she comes my way?