Anyway, besides actually rather missing Lesbian Best Friend, all that's neither here nor there. She's really about the only one of all those bastards I miss anyway. No, this is about GBF.

See, it irritates the piss out of me when people think that your giving them the chance to make amends for something means that they've just gotten away with it scot-free. How many times do I have to point out, just because I don't call you on your lie does not mean I don't know that you're lying?

I'm irritated at GBF at the moment because he had the nerve to call me up and ask something about my biggest high school crush/only high school girlfriend/an old mutual friend ... I mean, he was asking about some stuff that had happened way back then, and because I was distracted at the time (actually on the phone with someone else I've known nearly that long, who lives in another city) I answered the question more or less along the lines of the fiction of what we all pretended was going on back then.

See, the irritation comes from the fact that it wasn't just pretending for me. I really was that clueless back then. And I'll grant you, I may even still need a moment to reflect before I recall, hey, it didn't really happen that way -- fact is, I know that it didn't. In short, he was asking me about shit that made my life complicated and awkward back then, as if he hadn't played an active part in exactly why it was so complicated and awkward.

Repeating lies don't make them any more true, kids. It's true, we can all retell history in such a way as to make ourselves look better -- and no, I don't fool myself into thinking I'm somehow immune to that effect.

The real version of my high school days do not exactly leave me looking like some kind of prince, either. What the hell, we were all clueless kids and we all made some really bonehead calls back in those days. But y'know, I'm willing to let the past lie.

I'm just saying, don't bring up shit that's just gonna remind me of how you were a dick in the past. Just doesn't make a whole lot of sense, if you think about it.

The real answer to the questions he was bringing up is that my most trusted friend, which would be him, was actively filling both my head and the head of my little punk princess with lots of shit that really had nothing to do with either of us -- and y'know, if he'd just leave it alone I could believe well enough that this stuff was unintentional, or at least stuff he did without really thinking about it. But you bring it up today? Now I'm thinking about it, and what I'm thinking is that it makes him look like an asshole.

Whatever, man. I might be going to school to be a therapist, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna try and do it for free, for people that are supposed to be just friends. Whatever our shared history, deal with your own shit, and leave me out of it.