Still got a pin sticking out of a knuckle, and by all accounts will continue to have such for another three weeks.

This would upset me more, but as my new sleeker sturdier cast is much more comfortable (and stable) than the previous one. Plus, I like the lady who put it on for me. She was about 50ish but flirted with me pretty boldly. I thought that was kinda cool.

Date someone old enough to be my mom? Eh, something I can bother thinking about when I have two hands again. Presently, I've one hand and two apartments.

This was supposed to go a lot smoother, but as it is moving with one hand has been interesting.

"Why don't you just ask for help?"

Stupid, stubborn, proud. Whatever.

Most of my stuff is in the new place -- enough so that I'm missing several conveniences I normally take for granted. I figure that's good. Choices that we made a long time ago can be so ingrained and automatic now that we fail to realize we can simply choose something else.

Anyhow, my internet service is done as of Sunday, so this very well might be my last post for some time. I should think it interesting to return to an internet-free life, if only for a bit.

Changing my phone number, too ... the good part there? This is a big enough city that just by doing that, I can easily be rid of any "friend" I wish. Cruel to just move and never be heard from again? Tell it to someone who can pay their rent and car payment.

Seriously, this is gonna be interesting. Maybe even fun. I mean, who has time to be depressed, lonely, or even angry when simple survival is on the line.

Okay, maybe "survival" is a tad dramatic. Still, try eviction and having a vehicle reposessed ... and thereafter having to drop out of school to move states away to actually move back in to your folks' place. Yah, I'm speaking of a different kind of survival, right?

Anyways, job hunting (at least actual interviews) will have to wait till I'm not in a cast once again. When you're broken, it quickly becomes the most salient detail about you.

So that's about it for my one-handed typing. I wanna give a shoutout to my girls Kim and Becky -- take care, and enjoy of life what you can. Good vibes to becca as well. The jobs we have truly suck the very life out of us ... and the other option is to live as horribly uncertain an existence as the Stange One himself.

It's all about choices, kids.

Sz ... my heart goes out to you as well. You know, I spoke with married-ex briefly last weekend. Told her about punching the wall, she can't imagine me getting that angry and goes into this whole thing about being angry at myself, where my subconcious is fighting me for making positive chanes in my life.

Yeah, nice try. Not angry with myself. Angry at everyone and everything else. And yes, despite her feigned bafflement, that sure as shit does include her. At the time of this conversation she's telling me the other call trying to reach her is her husband, because they haven't spoken for two days except to yell at each other. After yelling at her just a bit mself, I told her she should call her husband back. Told her I'd be out of town this week (at the time I thought I might be) so I haven't spoken to her since.

For myself, S? I just feel like I can't spare the attention or energy anymore on something that gives so little back. There was a time when I felt she gave so much more... but ealistically, that was a long time ago now.

Kinda like I was saying about choices becoming automatic. Once upon a time I realized I'd fallen in love. But love can't stand still anymore than time can. How can I be as in love today with someone who seems spoiled, selfish, and manipulative, as I once was with someone who seemed truly kind and fearless?

One truth to the world: Things Change.

So I guess I'll catch all you crazy d-landers on the other side. Remember to have fun, have faith, and don't do anything that I wouldn't do.

Yep, leavin ya lots of leeway.