It's the end of the night one of these nights at work, and us security types are patiently and politely ushering the crowd out, and we are wont to do. So I'm telling people to walk and talk, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here, and that sort of thing. You know, drink 'em up quick, and all.

So just after these really drunk asian guys were trying to teach me to say "Motherfucker, get the fuck out" (their more sober friend eventually grabbed them, apologized for them, and told me to not ever say that to anyone. ya, 'cause I was really about to run out and do that. anyways...) I'm moving on and there's like this huge group, maybe 8-10 of them, who are breaking off into little protesting satellites after being forced to stand from their table.

Making contact with one of the ladies, I gestured in the general direction of the stairs and said, "Ma'am, if you could just head down to the first floor..." (we clear the place out by levels). She looks at me with big eyes and goes, "You smoke pot!"

I'm actually quite surprised by this, and as I'm working, I say, ".... nooo..." in a very puzzled manner.

She leans closer to me and sez, "I smelled something--" takes a deep breathe, and sez, "yeah, that's pot."

I say, "No, it's patchouli."

Sez she, "Yeah, right. (then for some reason spells patchouli -- I guess she wanted to prove she knew what it was.) You're trying to tell me that's patchouli incense? Bullshit."

"Not patchouli incense," I say. "Patchouli oil. You know, body oil?"

She looks at me quite skeptically. "Are you saying you don't smoke pot?"

At which point I'm really quite amused, and moving on from talking to her to usher others, and I say something like, "Hey, I wish I had some."

She says, "Me too."