Anyway, what else is news, kids? Man, I gotta tell ya ... in referring to the object of my affections, maybe I should change from calling her Confusing Girl to Time-Suck Girl. Though that one does seem somewhat less affectionate, doesn't it?

I suppose that's just a side-effect of relationships, which admittedly I don't have a whole lot of experience with. But for such an admittedly self-centered individual as my self, all the effort in creating a lasting relationship seems kinda a lot, y'know? And of course, there's the (probably unreasonable) part of me that says these things really shouldn't seem like any work at all. But again, I must acknowledge that I've pretty much no experience with such things.

In most relationships I've had, one person has really tended to like the other a lot more -- so I think it works as kind of a natural limiter on how much time you'll spend together. Now granted, it also works as a natural limiter on how long the relationship will last, but at least you know what you're dealing with, right?

Whatever, what I do know is that I haven't been to the gym in at least a month, I haven't meditated probably since I ran into CG again, I've neglected schoolwork (I know, I do that anyway -- but I've even skimped on my last-minute making-up-for-neglecting-schoolwork, which is normally what saves my GPA), I've not written anything creatively, barely written here, and have slacked off on much of the reading I'd been doing ... granted, maybe I don't really need to be actively reading four books at once, but really, who's to say what is a good use of one's time?

The sad part of all of this, of course, is that spending all of my time with CG leaves me with nothing much else to think about besides CG, which of course means I also don't have much to talk about besides her. And really, how in hell could that possibly not be just plain boring? I mean, I would think even she would get bored eventually -- sure, it's nice to be the utter focus of someone's attention, but really only so long as that person is interesting. Who wants the affection and devotion of someone's who's just a one-note character? You'd get bored with your own admirer, at that rate.

So it's weird, because on one hand CG and I definitely still need to hammer out exactly what the hell is going on with us -- at the same time, I need to set up boundaries that allow me to have a life outside her, because realistically we can't last if I don't.

Oh, and speaking of the hammering out? I've met several of her friends, even hung out with a couple of them, I've spent time with her younger brothers and sisters (even went out with her brother without her, and yesterday I met her parents for god's sake. I talk to her every day, and really it'll take special circumstances to not see each other every day. Last night my friend C. (who'd been trying to get me on my cell all week, only to discover I check that maybe once every 4-5 days) asked me if I'd like to have dinner with her Saturday night. I had to turn her down, because I know I'm hanging with CG that night -- even though we haven't talked about it.

But, um -- yeah, according to her this is still the "courting phase" of our relationship. WTF, kids? Seriously. Why the hell am I so enmeshed in her life if she's still not quite sure about me? I'm thinking I've gottten the "lets' take it slow" riff from someone who has no idea what taking it slow means.

Gah. Have any of you noticed my grammar or spelling sucking of late? I tell you, if I start to feel like my muse is slipping, I'm out like a bat outta hell.