No? Maybe that's because if I had ever heard myself actually think that I would have realized how incredibly mentally challenged it is. The short version of the trauma, because I'd really rather just cut to the chase? I turn 32 in a couple of months, she turns 31 a few days after that. Seems the switch from contentedly, smugly childless to hearing biological clocks has been thrown like a mother.

It's not just a matter of age either, to make things worse. We've both only been "potential parents" if you would once in each of our lives. That is, she's been pregnance once before, I once got someone pregnant. Both aborted, and we're both afraid that our punishment for that will be that we have no other children for the rest of our lives ... God's way of saying, "you choked when you had the chance, you refused to step up to the plate, so you're done..."

Thing is, that's a pretty shitty reason to have a kid. We've only been together for three months ... oh, and she actually broke up with me Tuesday. Yeah, because I guess by Monday she'd convinced herself that I'd dumped her, so I guess when I called the next day she had to reset the circuit. Not to worry though, I was only allowed to wonder if that would be the last time I talked to her for about 10 minutes before she called back, and we apparently were no longer broken up.

You know really, I do love her, but she actually is pretty crazy. And I can't afford to be crazy with her, especially not when it comes to bringing another human being into that craziness.