That's not why I'm writing, tho. I was just checking my email, and I got a nice note from one of my friends back in my home town, who I'd spoken with Friday night. She just wanted to thank me for being a friend and all that jazz, and I was actually finding it quite uplifting because she was talking about how much talking to me makes her feel better, and how I seem to understand more and have a way of seeing things that others do not -- you know, my eventual career plan is to be a therapist, and she was essentially saying run with that, 'cuz I'm a natural.

Well. How does she finish this high praise? By telling me not to be too bothered about this whole thing with C., but that she does seem to be "getting a reaction" so "maybe there's really something there?"

WTF?

No, seriously. WHAT.THE.FUCK?!

For real. Here's the thing -- nearly every woman who's been around the two of us lately will find some opportunity to get me alone and ask, "So what's up with you and C?" Since I'm used to this by now, I respond, "Absolutely nothing." And invariably, they'll say, "Oh, I don't know ... I'm sensing -- I don't know, a little something."

So here's my question to anyone female who may be reading this: Are women honestly unable to tell the difference between someone being attracted and someone being truly pissed off? Or are they supposed to be the same thing or something?

Yes C. is getting a response out of me. As I was explaining to my good friend B. at her party the other night, the response she's getting is that eariler that night I was considering how to go about telling her we can't be friends anymore.

And no, I don't mean a, "let's not be friends, let's be something more" kind of not being friends. More of a, "If I never see you again, I will consider myself truly blessed by the gods" sort of way.

I just don't get it. I mean really, I just don't get it. What, is the idea that just because a woman can make a guy react with strong emotion, he must want her or something?

Fine, I won't even try to speak for all guys on this one, though I'm pretty fucking sure I could. Irritating the living fuck out of a guy just isn't the way to a guy's heart, ladies. I would have thought that would seem obvious, but apparently it isn't.

I mean, really -- does it work the other way in reverse? If there's a guy that you're bitching about on a regular basis, does it really mean you're hot for him? Should a guy learn to make you hate him in order that you'll love him?

Man, I'm a taoist, but this shit's really a bit too paradoxical for me. Yes, seemingly paradoxical things can often point to truth. But I'm afraid this one is a bit too much for my philosophical muscle.

So if I tell my mom I never want to talk to C. again, should see expect that I'll be married sometime soon?

Ugh. Reverse logic. Too fucking complicated, man. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Believe me, my desire and passion is uniquely distinguished from my anger and irritation. The two really don't cross-over much. You see, I like those I'm attracted to.