Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm adverse to sex or anything. It's just suddenly seemed like it dropped pretty low on my list of priorities. It didn't alarm me at all, because bein kinda depressed there wasn't really a whole lot that was a priority -- though honestly, that's something not normally affected by depression -- but really, I haven't been so down at all this week, and still I'm feeling pretty indifferent.

Just kinda strange is all. In a way I still think the depression is indirectly responsible for it, because I can only imagine this is a brand new side effect to the many meds I've been prescribed. First it takes away the ability to orgasm, then it takes away any concern over that ... are we really sure this is all a positive thing?

Nah, seriously, I'm thinking that has to be it, because I understand that one of the uses of wellbutrin is that it helps people quit smoking by making the cigs taste horrible, and lo! and behold, for several days now every time I lit up I was certain I'd lit the wrong end. Anyone who's ever done that knows how fantastically tasty that is.

But eh, as I don't have a girlfriend and definitely have more imperative things to pour my thoughts into than trying to get one, I'm really not complaining about this turn of events. And I mean, it's not as if I couldn't have sex if I wanted to -- call me weird, but I'm thinking that just might alarm me a little bit -- but just that it's now damned unlikely that I would be driven to distraction by wanting to.

So I dunno. That one's neutral, I guess. In other news, talked to my Ma today, and at some point (in reference to where I fit in with the fam) she tell me that I'm "the one".

Hmmm. Think my mom's been watching a bit too much Matrix? Heh.

Nah, I know for a fact that she's never seen those movies. I would have pursued the comment to ask what the heck she was talking about, but I suspect that if I did I might have started feeling that "You must succeed" pressure I was so fond of in my earlier life. Which is not to say that I was ever really strictly pressure or anything -- only that it was always expected that I should excel. And anybody who's ever been there can tell you what a hassle that'll get to be after a bit.

Anyways, it's always good to talk to me Ma. I know it's not something fantastically original to hear, but honestly my mom seems to have the most open, giving heart of anyone I've known ... so that somehow, by the end of a conversation when I'm assuring her that Everything Will Be Okay, I actually really mean it.

Oh, they also want me to move back to the hometown, of course. Just not happenin anytime soon, if I have my druthers.

And now, after this completely uninteresting entry, I will work a bit more on the paper I've due tonight, and prepare myself to get out there and wow 'em. If the key is to never let 'em see you sweat, I'm totally groovy 'cause it's cold as a sonofabitch outside. Stupid winter.

Oh: And I'm not really an evil genius bent on world domination. I just play one on tv.