Happy I am, then, to report that the marshmallow days would seem to be behind me. Mine eyes had already noted that I'd managed to whittle away 15 of the extra twenty I'd gained, so my midsection is looking decidely less roundish these days. But I've still been feeling particularly as if I'm at the bottom of a long uphill trek, because the amount of weight I'm using at the gym is still considerably lower than I used to use, back in my normal freakishly-strong days.

But not to worry, there will be other signs given to assure us that we are on the right track. For instance -- and this is always a nice little nod of acknowledgement for anyone who spends any real effort trying to stay in decent shape -- there's when the random girl happens to respond with surprise and approval. Like last night at the ol hipster club, at some point a guest-dj lady is trying to get my attention on a crowded dance floor and touches my arm. Then, apparently surprised, she drops whatever she was about to say to give me an appraising kind of a squeeze, and sez, "Ooh. Wow, if I have any trouble I know who I'm calling tonight."

Ha ha. See, I must still have some kind of muscle tone, right?

Really though, I think of a bit from a psych class where they said that in general, we all tend to have some body distortion issues. Women on average tend to see themselves as not small enough, men tend to feel like they're not big enough. Though in my own case, it's not so much a matter of sheer size, but of appearing well-shaped rather than just big, which as it happens are really my only options.

Another bit, though, that both pleased and amused me somewhat more: You know, sleeping over at CG's place. From one night/morning where we spent the whole time like physically melded to one another, I had noticed a kind of odd position we'd settle in, with me on my back and her head kind of resting on my abs. Not that I minded the position, mind you, just that I did recall thinking it slightly odd.

A later day, she's telling me how the point was just in getting as comfy as possible for sleep, and that she was slightly confounded because there really weren't any soft spots on me. Apparently I'm just hard muscle all over the place -- which, you know, just brings a bit of a smile to my face. Nice to know I don't seem as out of shape to everyone as I do to myself.

Doobie doobie do ... alright, I gotta run and do some stuff. But I did wanna talk a bit about the more old fashioned beliefs about sex and sleeping around, and our more open-minded new perspectives on things. I'm not exactly sure what I have to say about it tho, so we'll come back.

I think, tho ... I'm thinking, I wanna say something about being really open about past promiscuity, particularly when it comes to explaining to a present lover. There's that thing where you've slept with everyone your lover has, so clearly being clued in is key. And yet...