"Women have no idea, absolutely no idea how horny men are. If any one of you had any idea, for even an instant, exactly how we look at you -- you would never stop slapping us.

And I know. You women will say, 'Oh, we get horny too.' And I'm sure you do ... in your own little way. But really ... the difference between how men want sex, and how women want sex ... is like the difference between shooting a bullet -- and throwing it."

Heh. I always thought that was pretty funny, even if women will tell me that it's not quite accurate.

In other news, I'm kind of deciding I'm about done with my Confused and Confusing Girl. I don't think she means any harm, in fact I think she has nothing but good in her heart, but my life was, by my will, very simplified and only complicated by my own shit when she waltzed back into it ... and essentially, she's running from me at the same time that she calls for me to pursue her. She wants romance and courtship at the same time that she wants to have a casual, easygoing relationship. And you know, I'm good -- but I'm sorry to say, I'm just not that good.

I can give you one thing. I can't give you one thing and it's exact opposite at once. I'm sorry -- please decide what you want, and I can honestly tell you whether I can and am willing to give you that.

When you're asking for Alaskan cool at the same time you want Mediterranean warm? Sorry, honey. I'm a pretty cool guy -- but I'm not a magician.