Sometimes, I freakin hate Minneapolis. Specifically, I hate it in the winter. More specifically, I hate it when they declare a "snow emergency."

Never heard of a snow emergency? Well gee, you must live in a place that hasn't figured out how to make some serious bank every winter by charging people everytime a shitload of snow is dumped on them.

See, here's how it works -- and this if freakin brilliant: Snows quite a lot here, yes? Yes, indeed. So, on any day where it really does just snow and snow and snow, we must declare a snow emergency. (Now, in all fairness, allow me to point out their rationale for this: It's an Emergency becuz we're not really sure, with all the piles and piles of white stuff on the ground, that our firetrucks could make it down the more narrow streets, should there be a fire. So rather than risk that, we must plow those streets like a sonafabitch. Never mind that I've live in other cities that somehow manage to be okay with just plowing the streets and leaving five feet of ice blockin cars in ... or even that, in the other snow-soaked place I lived, they didn't even bother plowing because there was not point, as it would just keep snowing. Know what they did there? Just dumped dirt and sand on top of each new level of snow. Yes, by the end of winter, the roads are buried underneath 3-4 feet of packed ice ... but hey, it worked for them.)

But no, in Minneapolis (if I'm not mistaken, even St. Paul doesn't do this. Ya know, "Twin Cities"? Except, apparently, one gets a helluva lot more snow than its neighbor...) Argh. Okay, the deal is that the first day after a big snowfall, you can only park on side of every street. And the next day, only on the other side. Or actually, I may already be lying ... 'cuz sometimes, I know it's not even for a full day that you can or can't park on one side. As well, I know the snow emergency doesn't last for just to days ... so first we plow one side of the street, then the other ... um, then you just can't park anywhere. Screw you, taxpayer.

Gah. I haven't gone a single winter here without getting at least a ticket from this, but that's not really where they get the dough. On my street alone, I've seen some 20-30 cars get hauled off the the city impound lot within the last couple hours. And it's happening all over the city. (Um. Y'know, even in the middle of the summer, these streets are full, parking's a bitch in this part of town. Eh, guess that's just your problem for having a car, sucker.)

And from experience? Yer talking, if I recall correctly, at least $150, even if you go get your car immediately. But it gets worse. I'm pretty sure they're tacking on -- no shit -- like $100 a day for every day your car is in the lot. So say you're a poor college student who doesn't happen to have $150 hand. Well, you better have 250 tomorrow or 350 the next day ... because after that, it might start to get kinda pricey.

Bleah. Fine. Y'know, I love my city ... except when it snows alot.