Hm. At the moment, I just wanna say: In very recent times, I've more or less given up on having any kind of a relationship with a woman. Well, I don't mean the friend kind, I mean romantic-like. And why is that? Well, I've said it before but I'll say it again: Being 'attractive' to someone and getting into bed isn't all that difficult. However, having someone appreciate who you are, for me this is, has thus far been a logistical impossibility.Now this is quite strange, as I'm fully aware what a hella cool person I am. If I wasn't, I wouldn't normally have my choice of many, many friends, most of whom I can't stand. Yet somehow, the awareness of my coolness and the awareness of my attractiveness seem to rarely overlap for very long. Sad as this is, it's true: My longest relationship has been a year. And I'm thirty. And realisitically, I even knew at the time she was cheating on me left and right, but so long as I thought she "loved" me I was willing to play along.
So I'm cool to be a great friend. Fantastic. Alternately, a woman may be allowed to lust after me awhile, and dump me as soon as the novelty wears off. Okay, fair enough. But ya know what? Not allowing that I may be a great friend and a great lover at once -- ie, someone anyone might truly fall in love with?
Now here's the thing, kids -- and you can call me bitter, harshly judgemental, full of myself, yadda yadda yadda. But fact is, point blank: Male or female, straight or gay, black or white, whatever -- if you can somehow see the first two, but never imagine the third you are an asshole.
But hey, it's only my opinion. And it only means that the two of us can probably never even be friends, let alone anything more emotionally intimate. Because to not see how someone can fall in love with me is to not see me as I am. And I've no desire to play anyone else's roles anymore. So Fuck Society. Fuck The Majority Of People who will apparently never value me as I feel I should be valued. And since in any real sense, I'm not allowed to deal with Society or The Majority, most of all fuck every asshole who thinks that for some reason there's a type of love I simply do not deserve. No matter how nice they might seem in other fashions, they will always be an asshole to me, just for this one reason.
Y'see, I have had people try and point out to me the people they think I'll never be good enough for, as if it was so obvious I shouldn't be bothered by the statement. And once upon a time, I was a nice enough person to let it go. Not anymore. You're either on my good list or my shit list. And clearly, the good list is very small and hard to get onto. The shitlist includes probably 98% of the human race. And unless they acknowledge my absolute wonderfullness, that's exactly where they belong.
Okay, this has been my early morning rant. Have a good one, kids.
