I did get some stuff done today, but not as much as I actually needed to. I should be getting a threaten-of-eviction notice any day now, as I haven't paid my rent yet and my landlord is an ass. Yeah, I know, it's reasonable of him to want his money, and even on time. Nonetheless, I've lived here for years upon years, and it's not like it's news that I'm an easily distracted slackass bastard. If he wants, he could call me and say, "Send the cash now." But to threaten to evict me every damn time, when he knows for a fact I always have it, I just have rather screwy priorities? That's just rude.

Hm. I did get to fill out the paperwork for my new job, tho. Thass cool -- I think I'll actually like working there. I mean, it's always easy to say that before you work at a place, but honestly this is the sort of thing I've kinda wanted to do ever since I moved here... a job of the sort that was literally all I was doing when I was younger, but will now simply be how I pay bills. What I mean is, the only thing that really bothered me about my earlier jobs was that I saw people in their 40's and 50's who'd never done anything else, and it just didn't seem that cool. I mean if nothing else, it's seemed to me that people who spend their entire lives in a job that really is just a job almost inevitably seem to end up bitter about having spent their life doing that job.

So, I resolved to go do all kinds of other crap, not so much because I wanted to do any of that crap forever, but only because it would be a change. And ultimately, I wouldn't be able to realistically bitch and say, "I've wasted my entire life doing _______." Sure, I may end up saying I've wasted my life -- but I'll at least have wasted it doing lots of different things, rather than just one.

So... yeah, not much else. I'm still mysteriously content, and really I'm not one to look a horse in the mouth on such matters. I do find that I'm quite weary in a sense, but honestly that sense is that I'm weary of people. I went to dinner tonight with Best Friend and his Girl, and honestly it gets so old not saying,"... because he's gay, that's why..."

I mean, tonight (in answer to my question) she told this really depressing story from early in their relationship, the sum of which was that after a whole day together they finally end up in a romantic cuddling place, and suddenly he's sick and has to go home. She's always complaining that she doesn't get enough sex. She doesn't understand him, but honestly I think it's because she doesn't want to. He is a great guy, and if he were into her he'd be a great catch. But ask yourself, how happy would you be with the _______ of your dreams, except they tried to have sex with you as few times as possible?

Yes, it's a sad state of affairs. Oh, and as it happens they're really kind of the only friends I bother counting anymore, as I've been completely sick of everybody else for quite some time now. Long-term readers may recall that I've said I'm still fond of Lesbian Best Friend ... well, I am, unfortunately I don't think that affection is quite returned. Or, to be more clear: Because we've periodically slept together, I think she's now relegated me to the role of "fuck buddy" rather than friend. Which would be fine and dandy -- if only that was what I'd prefer, as well.

But for those of you who haven't been there: Having sex with someone who really isn't into your particular parts is not the most fantastic kind of thing. Don't get me wrong, it can be quite fun. But really nothing I'd be willing to give up a good friend for. Unfortunately, that seems to be what I've done. Tho, to be clear, she's the one who doesn't answer my calls. And I've little question as to why: A certain unpleasant influence in my life that I once called "friend" has a very manipulative manner, and sweet tho she is, LBF is honestly just a tad gullible. And, honestly, just a bit distrustful of men, as well. Even if we're talking a girl who's screwed her many times and a guy who never has -- I'm not even talking about sex here -- she'll still tend to grant the benefit of the doubt to the chick rather than the dude.

Meh. What ya gonna do? Quite honestly, tho I've nothing against her, in my recent times of serenity (and, honestly, many times in my life before) I've rather been thinking that perhaps I truly am better off alone. I mean, I know that being a recluse is normally considered kinda a creepy thing ... but then, if everyone who thinks you're creepy is someone you know you'd rather not be friends with, is that any great tragedy?

Yep. I've now gone crazy enough to believe I'm the only sane one. Keep that in mind before you go thinking I'm making sense.