In my extremely longwinded previous entry, I do believe I forgot to point out the most fear-inducing facet of my current problem overall: That plan where I get the aid money that will screw me within a month or two is actually the only plan I have. I mean, the outcome where I'm screwed financially but have the degree? That's the best possible case.Vague tho my fear may have been, it's not been unwarranted. I don't actually own my car or my computer, nor obviously the place where I live. These then are things that can easily be taken away from me, if I can't keep up payments on them. And that's not good. I suppose I could live without a computer if I had to. My (part time) job is close enough to bike to, if I could afford a bike after losing the car. The school stuff isn't, but I suppose that's what public transportation was made for. Of course, if you're screwup enough not to take care of business when you have a car, how much better will you do when you have to stick to actual schedules?
Further, the place of dwelling is obviously something I just can't do without. I suppose if it were a matter of freezing on the streets, both GBF and LBF do own houses and would not be completely opposed to giving me shelter. But again ... if I were to let things go that far, it seems kind of inevitable to me that that would only be the start of a further decline. If for no other reason than that I'm truly too prideful to take charity of that kind...
So, right. It is occuring to me that what I most likely need to do is come up with some kind of plan, seeing as not having one has worked so wonderfully for me thus far.
Someone called me brilliant not long ago. If I'm to accept that compliment, I must wonder, would I prefer to be brilliant and a headcase, or really rather dull but mentally stable?
Which would you rather, do you think?
