You might even be crazy yourself! And if I make any kind of sense to you -- odds are pretty good.

Anyway, what's odd about my recent stint of non-posting is that most of those that I regularly read here have not been posting much eitehr. For probably different reasons, tho. The last post of one lovely lass explained that the end of her d-land days has come because this was mainly a "drama outlet" for her, and her life has become relatively drama free. Congrats to her, and for any others for whom it may be true, for that. Myself? Just haven't been on the computer much in recent months, really.

Too busy following Crazy Girl around. Oh wait, was it Confusing Girl? Well, I guess I have skipped a few updates. But as I pointed out initially, the crazy will tend to attract the crazy. In fact, I believe I may have mentioned earlier that I've spent most of my life serving as an almost infallible divining rod for finding the most messed up chick in any given area. CG, however, being quite a forceful personality, does actually talk a pretty good game of being on the sane side, tho. So it took me a while...

"What do you mean by messed up?" I can hear you wondering. Well, I'll tell you. Messed up people generally behave one way, but consistently think in a completely different way -- many different ways in fact, each more bizarre than the other, but none of them resembling very much the actual behavior that is exhibited. For instance, if you're happily married to a wonderful man, only having sexual desire for gorgeous women would be kinda messed up. Or if you're a highly successful military officer who is a deeply compassionate pacificist, you're on the messed up side. Having many one-night-conquests and being quite the sexual carnivore while dreaming and thinking only of a soulmate? Messed up.

And the simple truth of the matter is, if someone was otherwise fine but messed up with only one of the aforementioned inconsistencies? Well, the prognosis would then be good, and chances are they'd soon snap out of their delusional world and start living in a way that might actually make them happy. But when I talk about finding a messed up person, a definitely on-the-rubber-chicken-side-o-sanity kinda person, I'm saying I'm finding someone with many, many, many of these kinds of things at play in their head. So that what you see on the outside is a person with maybe a few quirks, but seeming otherwise apparently as rational and functional as anyone else. In order to get to know that person, however, you must come to understand that what they actually do and what they're actually thinking rarely have much to do with one another.

Have you ever overheard (by accident, or whatever) a conversation between to people that actually did seem to be in your native tongue, but whose progression you could not possibly follow if you were able to record and chart it out? Have you had such conversations with people close to you? (I mean that someone else couldn't follow. Myself, I'd had the ones where even I'm baffled -- but that's two crazy people who aren't vibing.) These conversations are the result of two people who've learned to merge their dementia -- the train of thought never approaches normal rationality, but it doesn't matter because whatever crazy shit they're on about is something both people are savvy to.

Now I'd like to tell you -- above and beyond her superhuman abilities to assert absolutely anything and proclaim you a heretic if you look reconcile it with anything else she asserts, I'd like to think the real reason CG remained so damned confusing to me for so long is that I've been becoming less crazy, and so therefore was not really able to blend my own crazies into hers, as I've been historically so good at. I figured this was supposed to be the first sane, normal relationship of my life -- so naturally I remained perpetually confused when it kept seeming like bad sitcom episodes.

But, whatever -- the money situation is shitty, I'd like to say shittier than before but 1) that would naturally follow, wouldn't it? and 2) I'm sure I've been saying that all along, anyways. The solution is: Get a real job and quit whining, you goddamn hippie.

And if I can write a 12 page research paper in seven days (I can) I can get a nice C- to go along with the nice C+ I squeaked out of my other class, and remain only one semester from graduating. Granted, it would behoove me with such a shitty GPA to take more classes and get a lot more academically impressive before trying to move on to grad school after this and my last semester, but I suppose getting the shit out the way that you absolutely have to get out of the way is still mission at least partly accomplished. Better than having to pay to sit through the exact same class for another whole go round, at least.

So yep, still crazy over you, but still fighting the good fight. And really, what else are you gonna do, right?